- To betroth; to affiance
- A betrothed man
The man you’re about to marry. It could really be a woman, but for the simplicity of a definition, we’ll talk about the boys. He is more than just the guy on your arm. In the wise words of one former fiance, now husband, “if he has an opinion, he will give it. Involve him, but only as much as he wants to be.” Do not assume your fiance wants to go through every detail of the choices between roses and calla lilies. But conversely, don’t keep him out of the loop- there is guaranteed to be an area of the wedding that he cares about most. Maybe it’s the photography, or choosing a band over a dj, or maybe it’s the content of the wedding vows. Make sure you ask his opinion, but when he doesn’t have one… let it go.
image: Nick Smarto
Another fiance, engaged to be married in November, told me recently that once the man has proposed, he already knows he’s getting married. Whatever location you pick for the ceremony, whatever kind of party you decide to have, whatever anyone wears- they already know (or assume until you say yes) that you’re getting hitched. It’s not a question. He’s already thought about the future, and being married to you, and has realized his world is changing. But after he proposes, for the bride… it’s suddenly a huge shift! So remember- he really did choose you already. He really wants to be your husband. Don’t drive him crazy about the wedding himself, when he’s already ready for marriage.
Most of all, remember that your fiance will only be a fiance for a short period of time. The in-between phase, where you’re no longer dating, and not yet married, can be frustrating at times, while you navigate the space between being two people and becoming a united married couple- but it’s also the best time of your life to rejoice, to celebrate, and drink all the champagne (or fizzy beverage of your choice) you like, with the man you love!